You may be excited about getting a tax return . . . until you realize it was your money to begin with . . . .
“I’m not going to pay taxes. When they say I’m going to prison, I’ll say no, prisons cost taxpayers a lot of money. You keep what it would have cost to incarcerate me, and we’ll call it even.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.” –Craig Ferguson
“It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required.”